Fighting is never about what the quarrel is over. Just like the Civil War, it becomes “brother against brother” and it is fought to the death. Usually in a dysfunctional relationship when something goes wrong, it ignites underlying feelings that don’t necessarily have much to do with the present circumstance. When our communication skills are poor, we use battling as a way to release bad feelings. Unfortunately, when this kind of behavior is in the home, teens may feel it is wrecking their life even if they are not involved in the combative discussion. Children have a tendency to falsely believe that when their parents contend with each other it is their fault. This is a common notion among children of divorce as well. They believe they are the reason their parents divorced. With a child’s self-worth so deeply entwined in the parents’ disagreements, it is important to learn to communicate well.
Zion Educational Systems’ Family Advocates know it is difficult to communicate when you feel your opinions will be met with anger. If your family is in crisis, please call for help. Family Advocates are available anytime at 866-471-8579.
There’s A Big Difference Between Fighting And Disagreeing
Rarely do family members engage in an angry discussion when they think they are wrong. There is a natural instinct in each of us to defend our beliefs or actions. Quarrelling is usually a result of disagreeing; but disagreeing doesn’t have to mean fighting. With effective communication tools, your family can learn to listen and be heard—both of which are vital to understanding each other. Combativeness rarely solve problems. It may quash or lead to a resolution for the current point being argued, but it leaves a trail of negativity, pain, and destruction in its path. The residual effects may reach everyone in the family. Zion Educational Systems has helped families create a loving and safe environment to learn to resolve differences. Good communication is part of the foundation for a successful family. Call 866-471-8579 for more information on how your family will benefit from less arguing and fewer hurtful conversations.