It is impossible to push a teen to give you more. If you push, they will push back, because that is a natural reaction for human beings. Try it by asking someone to press their hand against yours. If you don’t tell them what you are doing and gently push their hand, they will push back. If you slowly move your hand in a circular motion they will keep their hand pressed against yours and follow where you lead. The lesson is if you push people they will push back. If you lead them, they will follow. Although the illustration makes sense, it may be difficult to transfer this information to your relationship with your child. However, if you use the illustration you will understand that you need to lead them where they need to go. Before you can expect them to follow, you have to invest time into understanding them better and first and foremost learning to listen to your teen.
Zion Educational Systems’ Family Advocates can talk to you about engaging your child in living their own fulfilling life. Their life goals and direction should be addressed immediately. Our Family Advocates are available anytime at 866-471-8579.
Patience Is Truly Your Secret Weapon
As today’s young adults feel a sense of entitlement they are less likely to be motivated by a nagging parent. Before you can ever expect your son or daughter to listen to you, you have to listen first. That doesn’t mean hearing what they are saying, it means actually listening. Listening so well that you literally repeat back to them what they are saying. This may take several times as your child will correct you on your interpretation. It also slows you from jumping in and telling them what they need to do. The more understood your adolescent feels, the more influence you will be able to have with them. Remember, there is no quick fix to motivating your young adult and they may not make the choices you would. Don’t push, just lead, and accept them unconditionally.
Zion Educational Systems has helped many parents of troubled youth in determining which one of their programs will best suit their child’s therapeutic needs. Lack of motivation is one that is common about participants with other underlying issues. Call 866-471-8579 for more information and help with your son or daughter.
