Disappointment results when someone you care about fails to meet your expectations. You feel it because you believe in someone. Just because someone lets you down doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have placed your belief in them in the first place. If you want to manage feelings you have about your troubled teen, you first have to acknowledge that disappointments are inevitable, and that we cannot connect all of our feelings to this disappointment. Your teen must feel the weight of your expectations, but your love should be unconditional. You can start by finding positive feelings to replace your negative ones. Instead of seeing your son or daughter as unlovable, recognize the positive parts of who they are. That may seem impossible to you in their current state, but focusing on the good will help dissolve your negative thoughts. Naturally, changing your feelings is not going to change their behavior although you may be blaming your feelings on their actions. So the real question becomes not how to manage your disappointment, but how to manage your adolescent.
Zion Educational Systems’ Family Advocates understand how a parent’s feelings may be tied into their child’s behavior. When you have a troubled young adult, your family may feel broken. Our Family Advocates are available anytime at 866-471-8579.
Managing Is More Realistic Than Controlling
When you find yourself in an exasperating situation with your son or daughter, it can seem hopeless. As a parent you may want to fix everything and find something that will “work”. Raising your kids, you did have a lot more control as they were more dependent on you. As they grow up and start becoming more independent you may feel like you are losing control. You and your kid need to find ways to work together and become interdependent, thus both of you benefiting from your relationship.
Zion Educational Systems has helped many parents of struggling youth learn to work together and help the participant find ways to get back on track and live up to their potential. There are so many reasons this generation suffers from drug abuse, alcohol a