There is always that kid who everyone knows misleads his parents about what he has done. You’ll hear the parents say something like, “If he said he didn’t do it, then he didn’t do it.” People laugh behind their backs and mock them for being so naïve. Other parents actually question whether their adolescent is telling the truth and rightly so. Not because you shouldn’t believe in your child, but because of the fact that there are different reasons why people don’t tell the truth. The number one reason people lie is because they don’t want to have to deal with the consequences of their actions if they were to tell the truth. For example if you ask, “Did you take twenty dollars out of my purse?” Much more serious lies could be about behaviors or drug and alcohol abuse. They don’t want to say yes to any of your questions, because then they would be held accountable for their actions. They also know that you know don’t want to believe your child would cover up facts and take advantage of that. No one is a human lie detector, so it is impossible to ever “know” if they are being deceptive.
Zion Educational Systems’ Family Advocates know it is difficult deal with a child you feel is lying to you, especially because there are usually other problems that accompany the issue. If your family is in crisis, please call for help. Family Advocates are available anytime at 866-471-8579.
‘Trust But Verify’
It is okay to trust what your son or daughter is saying, but you should also verify that what they said is true. There is nothing wrong with establishing this system, especially if there have been reasons to doubt your kid in the past. If they tell you they are going to a friend’s house, let them know you intend to follow up. Let them know it is because you love them enough to actually parent them, even if you have not done this in the past. There are many tools our professionals can give you to rebuild a relationship.
Zion Educational Systems has helped families work through past issues and create a new, positive future. Healing is possible with compassionate, professional help. Call 866-471-8579 for more information on how you family can be freed from the past and move forward.